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Saturday, March 18, 2006
that one month thing haunts me every single day of my life. its down to two weeks, hell, i dont even know how have i progressed. i'd like to say yeah shes all mine, but deep inside, i really dont know if im ever good enough for you. i loved how we started out, soon it became to a standstill, constant arguements, fights etc. i'm sick of all of it, you dont like sticky, i try my best not to be, you hate jeans, i never wear them at all, you want me to watch my words, i put in effort not to say anything when im angry, you tell me to control my temper, look at me now, i dont even raise my voice at you when you get so pissed off with me and even hurling me with words that cut me deep. im not saying that you must be with me, im just asking you to love me. 2 more weeks, 14 more days, 366 hours, 20160 minutes, 1209600 seconds, thats all the time ive got left, its ticking fast. i tried to improve myself by ALOT, cause i need you by my side. this isnt the ideal post that you may like to see, but neither do i like this situtation that im in. but all ive got to say, is im doing all i can within my reach to convince you to stay with me. but lately your attitude towards me changed alot, you dont care as much, its like you blocked me out totally, you're not the usual you who always are cautious bout your words, stuff that you said, hurts me alot. i know i've done the same mistakes that you're doing to me now, maybe its retribution, maybe you're just not happy being with me, but all im saying is im trying my best in every way to give in to your EVERY need.
yeah i was late today and i deserved you telling me off, but have you even thought of asking why was i late? it's not an excuse, but i just want you to know that i had a nasty arguement with my parents, early in the morning. i cant possibly walk out on them, cause i respect them but yet i just kept thinking id be screwed royally by you. anyway it doesnt matter now does it, bottom line's that i was late im sorry about that. i've got alot on my mind this month, the pressures piling up.
exhausted,
wendell
6:42 AM